I do not want the feeling

When did I become so dependent when I am so independent. Seems like I was more independent when I was dependent. At least that dependence does not feel like dependence any more. Feels more like sharing what was ours. But this dependence which I feel now. Which I feel at this stage and age of life is the worst one. I never imagined it to be so. I never imagined it to be.
I never felt it before. I never felt much before. I feel it at this moment. I feel everything at this moment.
I feel it going out from me and taking over me and my life. I feel the pain its causing me. I feel the light its sucking out.
I need that laugh I had. I need that zing I had. I know its deep down and its struggling to jump and shout.
Its coming I think. I know it is. I see its light. I hear it shout. I tremble with it. And I feel everything.
It will make me independent again. It will make me mine again. It will give me my life again. It will make me smile again.
I think it is good for me. I do not want the feeling. I do not want the love. Its making me dependent. Its making me loose me.
I think its good for me that I am loosing it.

Starting

Well I want to write something today because I want to kinda remember the day i created an account on blogspot.. so,
Why suddenly out of the blue even when I am not so free I felt like creating this blog??
No, its not because I want to reach out to a section of society or be heard or not even to create an impression upon my friends ...
I just wanted to try it out and here I am.. :)
So friends and people here i start my revendvz with blogging.. Wish me luck!!!